Why I Need These Three In My Life-- and So Do You.

Whether you're protesting, crying over the beautiful display of mercy extended by Brandt Jean, or scratching your head over the terribly inadequate sentence doled out a few days ago for Amber Guyger, there's no doubt you're following this story as it unfolds, and probably have been since September 6, 2018. How can we not take an interest? This entails so much more than life and death.

We're talking about police brutality and racial tension and a state of unrest within our borders. This involves us all, and I know I wasn't the only one shocked by the sentencing.

My stomach dropped when I first read it on a Facebook post. Ten years?

Ten years, what were they thinking? She doesn't deserve jail time. She deserves to die, I thought. I mean, what she did was worse-- WORSE than if she was in another line of work, a civilian with a permit to carry. Her responsibility for proper use of a weapon should have been and was greater than anyone.

And then I kept watching, kept reading, like so many others, I couldn't look away. It was Brandt, Botham's brother, who captivated me and everyone else with his shocking words. Where did those words come from? Where did he find the strength to speak them? If you haven't heard or read the exact quote, please search and don't stop until you find it. There are some major news outlets leaving out the most important part.

Have you ever seen someone in church, running, screaming, or convulsing, claiming that they are filled with the Holy Spirit? No, friends. This is what being filled with the Spirit looks like. Brandt Jean was filled with the Spirit.

And then there was more. The more I found out, the more emotion welled up inside of me. The judge, Tammy Kemp, not only hugged Amber, as well. She gave her a Bible and told her to read it. All that judge had to do was hand down a sentence, a punishment some of us were hoping would be maximized beyond what she was even up for and be death, but that judge handed down a Bible-- she handed down life.

I already knew some things about Botham, but I found myself again wanting to read about his life. His impact. His heart. And the more I learn about these three: Tammy, Brandt, and Botham, the more I am convinced that I need all three in my life-- because I am Amber Guyger.

I'm reminded of Micah 6:8. "He has shown you O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." (NIV)

• To act justly, just like Judge Tammy Kemp. She lowered her head in shock and then stood, dismayed, as she learned that the DA gave an interview after a very clear gag order. Yet she did not declare a mistrial. She wanted justice to be served and she knew it was time. 

• To love mercy. Just like Brandt. Unbelievably. Outrageously. Love the kind of mercy that shocks a nation.

• To walk humbly. Just like Botham Jean lived in obedience to God for his entire, blessed, far-too-short life. He was the embodiment of a life well lived, and an example for us all.

I am Amber. My sin also killed an innocent man. He did nothing to hurt me. In fact, He did nothing to hurt anyone. I am Amber, defenseless, guilty, feeling like a "terrible person" for what I've done, just as she said when she took the stand, wishing it was her instead of him. But I'm in danger of my sentencing looking very different from Amber's if I don't accept the goodness of the innocent man that my sin killed. If I don't listen to and learn from the Judge of all things. If I don't fall into the arms of the Spirit, the ultimate guide, sobbing and truly sorry for what I've done, knowing I don't deserve the mercy extended to me, but receiving it anyway.

I will stand on the day of judgment, my sin laid bare for all to see, the evidence presented and proving my guilt-- my absolute filthiness. People will scratch their heads in confusion and say, She doesn't deserve a hug. She deserves to die.

They will be right, friends. They will be right.